Welcome. You are here today to partake in Cream Spaghetti’s request for your attention. She’s a cool cat, she doesn’t like to be bland, and she doesn’t like to repeat herself. She would like, above all things, to share the wonderful experience of life with some friends. Namely, Bacon, Onion and Garlic. I know, I know, Garlic’s had some flak in the past, but I’m sure none of us hold it against him, right? If none of you object, let’s move ahead. This won’t take much of your time, I suppose 20 minutes will do.

Above all, Cream requests that you treat her fairly. She knows you like Parmesan Cheese, but she’s got other friends she wants to hang out with too. Parmesan’s nice, but after awhile he tends to talk about the same things, all over again. Oh yes, you say Cream won’t be anything without Parmesan either, but hear her out: Cream says if the relationship stays monotonous too long, it’ll go stale. Well, you’ve got to agree with her there, don’t you. Cream sighs; she says Parmesan’s sometimes a little dry; not like Mayonnaise.

Parmesan’s sulking in the corner as Mayonnaise saunters up. She is Cream’s best friend, and – don’t gossip now – but we all know there’s something competitive there. Cream’s just a little duller; just a wee bit on the plumper side. Mayonnaise too, but she hides it well in her curves. Okay, okay, enough with the gossip. Both girls in the same room, and the boys Garlic and Onion begin to sweat. Worcestershire’s the cool dude, and he knows it. He don’t wanna come between nobody, just as long everyone knows he’s top notch. “A little bit of me goes a long way,” he says with a wink. The boys sigh.

Ah, such a tight knit group, you just know they’re going to be alright. A little bit here and there, but at the end of the day the friendship’s just too strong. Ah, look here who comes now, Cheddar. Mm, Cheddar, doesn’t he look all charming? The girls are certainly besotted with him. Didn’t he just come back from the Bahamas on his yacht? Mm mm. You could just melt.

Garlic Bacon Cream
serves 2 (Your choice of spaghetti or penne)

½ bulb of garlic, about 6 cloves, chopped, pounded or smashed
2 streaks of bacon, chopped
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1.5 – 2 cups cream
½ – 1 cup chicken stock
1 tbsp low-fat mayonnaise
1 dash of Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp oregano
2 tbsp Italian herbs
salt and pepper, to taste

Optional:
1 cup grated cheddar, for baked option

Cook your choice of pasta. When done to your preference, drain and set aside.

Stir fry chopped bacon till fat is softened. Fry onion and garlic in this till fragrant and onions are slightly translucent.

Add cream, chicken stock, mayonnaise and herbs. Add Worcestershire sauce last, then pour in your noodles. Mix well before serving, with a sprinkling of paprika and black pepper.

Baked Option (best if you’re eating this with penne)

Spoon penne into oven proof pan, leaving some sauce intact. Mix this remainder of cream sauce with grated cheddar cheese, spoon cheese mixture over the penne. Bake at 200 deg C for about 10 minutes or till brown. Serve immediately.